Vending Machines Jokes

We have heard so many jokes about vending machines. Some can elicit fits of laughter while others will make us wonder why they say it’s a joke. Here are some vending machine jokes that we got from the internet. You be the judge!

Vending Machine Joke #1

A man and his wife in court getting a divorce. The problem was who should get custody of the child.

The wife jumped up and said: “Your Honour. I brought the child into the world with pain and labour. She should be in my custody.”

The judge turns to the husband and says “What do you have to say in your defence?”

The man sat for a while contemplating then slowly rose. “Your Honour. If I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, whose Pepsi is it – the machine’s or mine?”- www.berro.com

Vending Machine Joke #2

1. What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
2. “Give me my quarterback!”

– www.greatcleanjokes.com

Vending Machine Joke #3

1. Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine?
2. It was soda pressing!

– www.reddit.com

Vending Machine Joke #4

A man put a coin in a vending machine and watched helplessly while the cup failed to appear. One nozzle sent coffee down the drain while another poured cream after it. “Now that’s real automation!” he exclaimed. “It even drinks it for you!” – The Best of the Good Clean Jokes

Vending Machine Joke #5

This blonde is at a vending machine, she puts in a dollar coin, pushes a button and out comes a Coke. She is somewhat amazed by this and she proceeds by inserting another coin, pushing a button and getting another Coke, this time she is extremely excited. She places the two Cokes down and continues to buy more and more and more until she had over 50 Cokes surrounding her.

Two males walk by and witness this lady at the vending machine just surrounded with cans of Coke. They are curious as to what is going on so they ask the blonde, “What are you doing?”

The blonde turns around and replies, “Duh! I’m winning”.

-www.jokes-news.com